The Boy, The Other Boy, The Actress, & The Mute: A Tale of Adolescence & The Ultimate Revenge

“You’re Jay Franklin’s sister??? I was just telling a story about him to my students!”

It was true. Well, not the name. His first name wasn’t Jay nor was his last Franklin but I had just been relaying a rather scarring story about him-albeit a 6th grade pre-adolescent scarring nonetheless but still scarring-especially for the Town Mute which is what I felt like growing up, in one of my classes. The prompts were, "First Relationship & First Betrayal."

“I just heard that you grew up in P.V.” My colleague of at least six years explained just before a faculty meeting.

“No way! I can’t believe you’re Jay’s sister.”

Now that I was looking at her more closely, she was totally Jay’s sister.

“We have the same face.” She said.

They did. They did have the same face. The fair skin, the blue eyes, the strong nose, and the smile. The same face that always had his locker right by mine because my last name was Frankel.

“You do! You do have the same face!”

“So, were you guys friends, or...”

“Ummm...not exactly.” I responded, not sure how much information to let loose given our location, a meeting room at my school, and the fact that my brain was uncontrollably bringing up Jay Franklin memories from ages 7-19.

 “Oh no. Is that good or bad?” She said, laughing.

“Well...ummm...”

“This sounds like a good story!” Three people in the row of chairs in front of us said, all apparently listening to our interaction.

Luckily we were saved by the Head of School who began our meeting.

But I wasn’t present. I tried to listen but I was tripping out. Jay Franklin was the demise of my first real relationship. His name was, let’s see, what should we call him? Josh Morgenstern. Yeah, that works. We were 12 and it was the summer before 7th grade. I was at my favorite day camp, Arts Unlimited at Chadwick School. I loved that not a lot of people knew me. That I could have a relatively clean slate. That my peers viewed me as Hali the Actress and not Hali the Scared, Freaked Out, Silent Kid Who Threw Up and Shook When She Got Scared. That’s when I first met Josh. He had brown curly hair, was just a few inches taller than me, wore OP shorts and pastel surfer t-shirts (the classic P.V. look), and we bonded over fun improvisations. I fantasized about Josh holding my hand, maybe being my first kiss. It would be a nice change from the pillow on my bed. And then one day during lunch, a girl walked up to me and said,

“Josh asked me to ask you if he could hold your hand.”

“Okay.” Was all I could squeak out but on the inside, I was freaking out, in a good way. Shaking not from fear but from excitement and feeling like someone was finally seeing the real me.

We spent the rest of the summer together, holding hands coyly. Taking secret walks around Chadwick. No kissing, just an innocent and pure relationship. And I was my true self. The wacky, dramatic (in a humorous way), outgoing self. The self I was at home, in my room, using the top of my canapé post for a microphone as I put on shows for whomever I thought was watching (no one in reality, but in my head, a huge audience) in front of my full-length mirror.

Cut to the first day of 7th grade. I’m at my locker with Jay.

“I saw Josh Morgenstern at Temple the other day.” He said, pulling out his yellow pee-chee folder.

“You did?” This was the first real exchange I would have with Jay since we were 5 years old. And I’m thinking, “Finally, a popular boy is talking to me! This is it! The moment I’ve been waiting for!  And the fact that Jay would know that some boy actually liked me!”

“Yeah, I told Josh you were a nerd and to break up with you.” With that, he laughed and walked away.

I wanted to kill Jay and hide from him at the same time. First off, I was not a nerd! Let’s just get that straight. I was shy...absurdly, freakishly shy. And second, you don’t know me, Jay! You don’t me like Josh knows me! You asshole!

I walked home from school, made a beeline for my room and closed the door. I waited for a call from Josh. I waited all night. And then I waited the next two days. Nothing. So, I finally called him.

“Yeah, I just want to be on my own right now.” He said.

“Because of what Jay said?”

“Yeah, sort of. I just don’t want a girlfriend.”

And that was it. It was over. Eight weeks of happiness destroyed by Jay the dickhead.

I obsessed about the breakup and sang Grease 2 songs on a loop. (The picture at the top is of the actual letter that I wrote to "Josh" but never sent. I still have it. I changed the lyrics of Grease 2's "Love Will Turn Back the Hands of Time" to capture the essence of our relationship. Classic.)

Cut to my 19-year-old self. Having just returned form the worst year of college ever, I went to a party, ironically at Jay’s house, to drink and forget about my life and there he was. Shooting pool, drinking a bottle of Amstel Light. Bad Company playing. I looked different than I did growing up. This was the older Hali who finally knew what to do with her curly hair. We went to his bedroom and the whole time I was thinking, I don’t even like you. Why am I doing this? And then I thought, this is a moment. This is a moment that is filled with irony and the best validation ever. I guess it I wasn’t exactly hooking up with him for the right reasons but it sure felt great. The fact that he initiated the hook up. The fact that he saw me in a new way. And, the fact that he couldn’t get it up. Sorry, I know that’s terrible to say but the whole thing played out so beautifully. Fucking Jay Franklin. Karma, baby.