The Missing Peace Holiday Salon: Our Storytelling Bonfire Circle

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We're back with more news from The Missing Peace! Earlier this month, we hosted a holiday salon in a wooded backyard of Pacific Palisades. This time, ten storytellers connected with our circle through their personal stories, many of whom were our workshop participants. We were honored to listen to a variety of life experiences, all told with heart, honesty, and soul. At our salon, we interspersed storytelling with refreshments, which led to more self-discovery and connections through inspired conversations. Please join us for our next salon, which is open to storytellers and listeners alike, on Saturday, April 9th, 2016. To RSVP to our next salon or to learn more about our workshops, please click here. 

 Photo credit: http://www.nealmorell.com

 

Photo credit: http://www.nealmorell.com

The Boy, The Other Boy, The Actress, & The Mute: A Tale of Adolescence & The Ultimate Revenge

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The Boy, The Other Boy, The Actress, & The Mute: A Tale of Adolescence & The Ultimate Revenge

“You’re Jay Franklin’s sister??? I was just telling a story about him to my students!”

It was true. Well, not the name. His first name wasn’t Jay nor was his last Franklin but I had just been relaying a rather scarring story about him-albeit a 6th grade pre-adolescent scarring nonetheless but still scarring-especially for the Town Mute which is what I felt like growing up, in one of my classes. The prompts were, "First Relationship & First Betrayal."

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My Computer is an Asshole: When a Laptop Hurls me into Utter Darkness

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My Computer is an Asshole: When a Laptop Hurls me into Utter Darkness

My computer is an asshole. And yes, I’m aware that this is a first world problem and that I’m lucky to even have a computer but the thing just pisses me off! I want to love it…I really do. But the level of frustration it causes me sends me into a state that is extremely unhealthy and unattractive. I turn into something else when my computer doesn’t work. It’s an ugly, rage-filled, horrifying monster that consumes every part of me.  My face gets burning hot, I begin to shake, and I’m pretty sure I make some growling and hissing sounds. I’m actually afraid to look at myself in the mirror for fear that I might give myself nightmares.

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Three-Way Mirrors: The Ultimate Reality Check

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Three-Way Mirrors: The Ultimate Reality Check

It started in the Nordstrom dressing room. After shaving off a few pounds, I decided it might be time to try on some jeans. Actually, it was a promise I made to myself. “Hali, you cannot buy new jeans until you lose weight.” So, I thought I was in good shape…literally and figuratively. And as I pulled down my lose fitting skirt (adding to the reality that I was in fact skinnier) and grabbed the faded blues, that’s when I saw it…or them. The backs of my thighs. You see, Nordstrom has these three way mirrors. I used to like three way mirrors. Actually, I used to not even think twice about three way mirrors. They’ve now turned into my biggest nightmare.

“Oh my god.” I said out loud to myself. A mother and daughter were in the dressing room next to me but I didn’t care. I couldn’t breathe, honing in on the ripples that had taken over my thighs and larger than I had expected white ass. I stared at them for another two minutes in disbelief. “How? When? Why? How?” All that was left was “Who?” but I knew who. “Who” was me! How the hell was this “who” me? And more importantly, was there a way I could instantly disappear through the lightly carpeted gray floor of the dressing room?

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A Magical Night of Storytelling: The Missing Peace Anniversary Celebration

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A little over one week ago, we celebrated The Missing Peace's one-year anniversary, and Hali's birthday. It was an enchanting evening spent under tall eucalyptus trees, around a crackling bonfire, and within a circle of friends. Nine storytellers serenaded our circle with their personal stories - all true, of course! We were honored to listen to a variety of life experiences, told with heart, honesty, soul. At our salon, we interspersed storytelling with refreshments, which inspired more self-discovery and connections. Please join us for our next salon - open to all - as we wrap up our fall workshop sessions on Saturday, December 5th, 2015 from 7:00 - 10:00 PM. Sign up at our workshops page.

 
 
 
 

Storytellers: Hali Morell, Robin Hanson, Mike Wall, Caitlin Tortorici, Amber Katherine, Ken Rosen, Heather McGonigal, Lisa Rosen, and Tom Viscount.

Stuck in a Swivel Chair: A Day in the Life of Hali Hair

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Stuck in a Swivel Chair: A Day in the Life of Hali Hair

It’s 6:02. I’ve now been here for close to five hours. I’m hungry…actually fantasizing about eating the chicken at home in the fridge in the blue Tupperware on the top shelf near my cucumbers and hummus that my husband barbequed yesterday. I’m picturing it…on one of our dark green plates from Crate & Barrel from our wedding registry, sticking a fork in the entire thing and shoving it in my mouth. Not shoving in an erotic sort of way but shoving in a desperate I’m starving please lord help me before I pass out sort of way. Not that I couldn’t afford to lose a few pounds. (Twelve to be exact…but who’s counting?)

I’ve had to pee for two and half hours. Not badly at first but now, the painful kind.  Like I just finished off a keg and my bladder is hard and uncomfortable. I can see the bathroom door in the mirror. It’s behind me, it’s brown, and it’s taunting me.

And I’m tired…so tired. My lazy eyelid has reached its lowest drooping point and I look like I’m totally wasted. This wasn’t supposed to take this long. But now I can’t get out of here. I’m trapped. Stuck in a black swivel chair in Fantastic Sam’s.

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The Big Push of 2015: Hali's Summer Vacation

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The Big Push of 2015: Hali's Summer Vacation

As grateful and lucky as I feel to have two and a half months off from school, I’m also scared shitless.

For someone like me, unstructured time=laziness=depression=weight gain=self-hatred=massive hibernation.

How’s that for uplifting?

While many of my colleagues are soaring to exciting locations and experiences, I am almost dreading the idea of being on my own, without structure. You see, I don’t trust myself. I’ve let myself down time and time again. I can stare at my Tracy Anderson Dance Cardio DVD and it’s gray coating of dust and tell myself that “once summer comes, I’m cracking that thing open.” I can gaze longingly outside the bedroom window at the blossoming jasmine and promise myself that I’ll spend time in the garden come June. I can shove questionable clothing into drawers that are already overflowing and say to myself, “self, get ready to do some summer cleaning!”  But deep inside, I have that familiar nagging feeling that I just won’t get myself to do anything. And I still can’t seem to answer the same question I’ve been asking myself since I was 8 years old. What came first? The laziness or the fear?

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And I'm Amish

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And I'm Amish

So, I figured out my dream. The one where I morphed into an Amish person and had really horrible teeth. It’s funny because it sounds really normal when I say it but the reaction I’ve gotten from other people has been the following:  crickets, a gaping mouth, or a furrowed brow. 

I woke up from this dream and went directly into my 9th grade class. For some reason, I felt the need to share my experience with them.

“Hi guys. Before we start, can I just tell you that I just woke up from a dream where I morphed into an Amish person?”

Nothing. No response. Beyond awkward. I don’t know what I was expecting.  Someone else to jump up and say,

“Oh, I had that dream too!”

I was looking for validation but felt even more freakish than I did in the dream.

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Escaping Escapes: How to Cope With Anxiety When You'd Rather Watch Bad TV

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Escaping Escapes: How to Cope With Anxiety When You'd Rather Watch Bad TV

Today one of my students asked me what my biggest fear is. My first thought was, can I only choose one? I mean, there's always been so many fears. From snakes (I just don't like the idea of something moving around without limbs), to outdoor games like Tag and Dodge ball and Red Rover (I mean, don’t people know these games hurt?) to dying a slow and painful death, I have always had a shitload of fears. Here was my response to her.

“In this moment, right now, my biggest fear is failure. In public. Public failure. “

I then went on to say something that I never expected would come out of my mouth.

“I’m a perfectionist. I want to do everything perfectly…without making any mistakes. I know that’s not logical. I know that no one is perfect and that’s just part of being a growing human being but I don’t want to put anything out there to the world that isn’t as close to perfect as possible.”

Wow, where did that come from? It’s amazing how, at 43, you can have these epiphanies about yourself.  And I just had one out loud…in front of a dozen 18 year olds. Yikes!

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Fickle Friends: Stork & Curly's Two Cents

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Fickle Friends: Stork & Curly's Two Cents

Dear Stork & Curly,

A friend of mine whom I really like is troubling me. We’ve been friends for some years now, and we’re pretty close. We have a fair bit in common, the most notable being that we’ve both lived abroad in a number of different countries, which stands out where we live now. She is vivacious, fun-loving, and a good person. The only problem is, she seems to drop long-time friends for no reason. These are close relationships too — one woman she even went to Europe with, which I see as really “breaking bread” with someone. Since I’ve known her, she has suddenly axed three relationships. She’ll be close with someone, and then all of a sudden, she doesn’t speak with them anymore. It appears that she’s dropped these friendships out of jealousy, but I’m not sure. She would comment to me about these friends’ appearances, and say that her husband really liked women who “looked like that.” She’s also told me that her husband likes certain qualities that I have, yet I’m no flirt, and my husband and I think that my friend and her husband are “thick as thieves,” so maybe jealousy isn’t really it. Whatever it is, it seems her reasons are petty, and I just don’t understand why she has cut her friends off. I can’t help but wonder when I’ll be next. Should I tell her my concerns directly? If not, how much do I invest in the relationship knowing it could end suddenly?

Frugally Fashionable

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Ellie...The Orange Element: A Story of a Car...And Her Catalytic Converter

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Ellie...The Orange Element: A Story of a Car...And Her Catalytic Converter

So, something weird happened. 

The other day I jump into my orange Honda Element…Ellie Girl we call her. My husband even has a song that goes, “The orange Element”. I guess the tune doesn’t really translate here, but it’s cute. So I start her up and, well, she sounds like 5 motorcycles are inside her engine and she’s shaking and then this waft of burnt rubber comes over me, so I shut her off.

What-The-Fuck. Like, what the hell is happening right now? So, as if I don’t believe that it’s actually happening, I start her again. And again, it’s like a pack of motorcycles are underneath me. A pack? No. That’s wolves. A herd? A tribe? It doesn’t matter.

And all I can think is, is this seriously happening? You know those times when you think, it’s never going to happen to you? Like, you see those people on the side of the road and their car’s like smoking and you think, whew! Thank the lord that’s not me? But now, it’s kind of me!

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Untrustworthy Friends: Stork & Curly's Two Cents

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Untrustworthy Friends: Stork & Curly's Two Cents

Dear Stork & Curly,

There's a woman in my mutual friends circle I'm having a concern about. She's an amazing mother, wife, and friend. She's bright, interesting, funny, and enjoyable to be around. With one flaw. She talks badly to each of us individually about other mutual friends. Now, to my knowledge, she's never talked badly about me. But she has, on many occasions talked badly to me about other women I know whom I like very much. This makes me uncomfortable, yet, for fear she'll turn it on me to other people, I haven't said anything. I admit to "talking on egg shells" around her and minding my "p's and q’s” which you may think isn't real friendship. Which it probably isn't. And yet, I enjoy her.

Recently, I asked her if her husband could put in a good word for me with a company I was applying for a job with. Her husband works there and is rather influential. She enthusiastically agreed and indicated her husband was "on it." Since then, a job opportunity has presented itself that I'm very interested in and am in salary negotiations for. My gossipy girlfriend's husband's company has not yet called me for an interview. Most likely, I'll be accepting the position I really want. My fear is, when I tell her that I've accepted another position, she'll be irritated I'd asked her husband for help, and talk badly about me and the situation to our other mutual friends. Why does this bother me? Who in the heck knows!

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Hello 43: When Denial No Longer Works

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Hello 43: When Denial No Longer Works

“What? No fucking way!” This was me talking to my car radio.
“That’s right. Today marks the 30th anniversary of the release date of the album Purple Rain.”

I almost crashed into the person in front of me.

“No it’s not!” I yelled at the DJ.
“I know, it’s hard to believe, right?” He continued.
“Uh, yeah! What are you talking about, dude? 30 years??? There’s no way!”

I began chuckling under my breath. 30 years. Right.  But then I began flashing back on my life…in quick little snippets like when Bruce Willis puts it all together at the end of “Sixth Sense.” And I’m back at Arts Unlimited, the summer program at Chadwick School in Palos Verdes. I’m learning a jazz routine to “When Doves Cry.” And I’m…13! Holy shit.  He’s right. It was 30 years ago.

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Rude Customers: Stork & Curly's Two Cents

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Rude Customers: Stork & Curly's Two Cents

We wanted to bring together storytelling in as many forms as possible, creating a community feeling of support much like the days of yore when you could speak and be heard around a crackly fire, as well as ask advice of a nearby friend or elder when you met at the local watering hole. The Missing Peace hopes to inspire active storytelling for all.

Read below for one reader's question and two pieces of advice from us, Stork & Curly. To send in your own (anonymous) questions for our unique perspectives, see our submission form on our advice column page by clicking here.

Dear Stork & Curly,

I work in a customer service job where I consistently interact with the public, and am tired of being asked rude questions about my appearance (my tattoos, hair color, etc). Examples of these rude questions are; Why is your hair like that? Do you have anything else pierced? Do the curtains match the drapes? What are the meanings of your tattoos?    

Any advice on how can I politely do the following: a) call them on their rude behavior (without creating conflict), b) in very few words, help bring awareness that their questions are othering, and c) maintain personal boundaries while navigating a tricky social situation.

Any feedback is much appreciated! :)

Tattooed & Tormented

 

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